


safe place to land

by brilliantbanshee



Series: Season 2 Codas [10]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Carlos may have gotten the screen time he deserves, Good Dad Owen Strand makes his return, M/M, Missing Moments, but I am going to give him more anyways because I can, episode coda, the boys are being soft again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:47:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29973423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brilliantbanshee/pseuds/brilliantbanshee
Summary: Carlos was having the day from hell and he just wanted to talk to his boyfriend about it. Unfortunately, said boyfriend was currently missing and all Carlos could do was worry about him, or find him. But it really wasn’t a choice: he would always come for TK, no matter what.---a.k.a Carlos and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (a 2x08 coda)
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Series: Season 2 Codas [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2169987
Comments: 14
Kudos: 176





	safe place to land

**Author's Note:**

> Huge shoutout to [Jamie](https://officereyes.tumblr.com/) for actually helping me come up with this idea and talking through most of the finer plot points with me. 
> 
> This will have a second chapter (that will maybe be up Friday?) that will focus on the recovery and bring in the rest of the team because that was my original plan, but I really wanted to talk about Carlos and how anxious he had to have been during the episode because the man was having a DAY even before TK went missing. 
> 
> Title is from "Honest Man" by Ben Platt (which is 100% a Carlos song, change my mind)

Carlos avoided eye contact with everyone as he exited the precinct. He could feel their stares: some sympathetic, some judgmental. He knows they all know. He knew that it had been the talk of the precinct in the hours he had been confined to the interrogation room. He knew they all had an opinion on it, and he was pretty sure he knew what most of them were saying. 

He didn’t have to guess what his father thought, at least. That was made perfectly clear. 

He stepped through the doors of the precinct with a sigh of relief, feeling like he had just run the gauntlet. The bright afternoon sunlight threw him even more, it should have been dark when he left today. It’s another reminder of how far from usual this all is, of how much his world has been rocked by one split-second decision. Of how much that one decision could cost him. 

He climbed into his car with a weary sigh, resting his head in his hands as he took a deep, measured breath. His world was falling apart around him; everything he had worked for was crumbling like dominos set off by one act of compassion. He just wanted to forget it all, but that wasn’t possible. He didn’t want to dwell on Mitchell’s outright disapproval or her cold silence on the way back to the precinct. He would give almost anything to never have to relive the stern looks of his superiors, the shame of being asked to hand over his badge and gun. Most of all he would give anything to forget the look of disappointment in his father’s eyes, so convinced that he had been right about his son, that Carlos needed saving now from himself.

He lifted his head and looked back at the precinct, the crushing feeling of shame pressing on him from all sides. He had possibly ruined everything all because he wanted to see the best in someone. He wanted to believe he hadn’t been taken advantage of, that he hadn’t been naive and fallen for a well-rehearsed sob story, but it was getting harder and harder to cling to that hope by the second. Maybe his dad was right. Maybe he had always been right. Maybe Carlos wasn’t cut out to be a cop after all. 

He was pulled out of his spiral by the feeling of his phone vibrating in his jacket pocket. He pulled it out to see a text from TK: a simple confirmation that he had made it to the station. Just that momentary distraction was enough to interrupt his cascading anxious thoughts, to pull him back to reality. Nothing had been decided yet, he reminded himself. It may not be as bad as it all seems. 

He wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but he did know who he needed to talk to. So he started his car and pulled out of the parking lot, heading to the firehouse and the one person who could always talk him out of his own head. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


TK hadn’t been at the firehouse when Carlos arrived, which shouldn’t have surprised him as much as it did. Why should he have expected anything to go right today? 

Instead, he had had what was possibly his longest one-on-one conversation with his boyfriend’s father over green smoothies and had managed to spill all of his problems to the older man within a matter of minutes. He hadn’t really been meaning to tell him about getting suspended and he had definitely not intended to discuss his tense relationship with his father, but something had snapped in his mind it seemed and he no longer had the ability to keep these things bottled up. Maybe it was something about the firehouse — Carlos had always felt welcome there, comfortable even. Maybe that had been enough to lower his guard. Maybe it was simply the kind face of Owen Strand. For all the problems he knew TK had been having with his dad lately and for all the reservations Carlos personally had about the other man, there was no denying that Captain Strand was an empathetic soul, when he allowed himself to be. 

Maybe it was simply a matter of the walls of his mind being battered for too long — worn more and more with each passing day — that this newest addition to fears and insecurities he kept so fiercely guarded was one too many and had forced his defenses to finally break. If that was the case he supposed he should consider himself lucky. At least it had been with someone he knew and trusted instead of a random passerby or grocery store clerk.

Whatever the reason, it had helped. Owen’s words had helped to ease his worry and return some of his confidence to him. He had felt much better about it all, until his father had called. 

He had left the firehouse with a promise from Owen that he would tell TK he had stopped by before heading back to the precinct, once again ignoring the stares of his coworkers and trying to not feel affected by the indignity of needing an escort to head to the conference room. For a moment, he thought it would be alright. His dad was there and the man he had seen earlier was sitting on the other side of the glass. He had corroborated Carlos’s story, everything he had told them proved that Carlos’s instincts were correct and his actions justified. For a moment he thought everything was fine, but he was wrong. His dad still didn’t believe in him. He still thought that Carlos was a liability, that he was too soft to do the job. 

He didn’t say it, but Carlos had spent a lifetime reading between the lines of his dad’s words. 

Maybe it was exhaustion or frustration hitting the boiling point. Maybe he was bolstered by Owen’s words from early, by the unwavering faith his boyfriend’s father had in him that his own father couldn’t manage to replicate, but Carlos was done hiding things. He told his dad exactly what he thought, and then he left. He stormed out of the precinct and got right into his car before driving home. 

He barely wasted a moment when he stepped through his front door, only pausing long enough to shed his coat and drop his keys into the dish by the door before he entered his kitchen, pulling open cupboards in search of the ingredients he needed. Cooking had always calmed him, it had always been a way to manage his stress and ease his mind. He desperately needed some of that today. 

He paused for a moment before he made up his mind, crossing to the rarely used cupboard above the fridge. He opened it and pulled out the pasta press that lived there, always present but hardly ever used because while he may love the result of handmade pasta it took far more time than he usually had to spare. 

It seemed he had plenty of it today, however. Maybe even for the foreseeable future. Besides, he needed something to take his mind off everything that had happened today and desperate times called for desperate measures. 

He mixed the eggs, flour, oil, and salt together in a large bowl as he let his mind wander. He still needed to tell TK about all of this, he realized. In all of their ins and out today, they kept missing each other. It wasn’t something he wanted to do over a text or a phone call though, so it would have to wait until he was here. Carlos assumed he would come here after his shift — he did, more often than not — but he paused in his mixing long enough to grab his phone.  _ Dinner tonight?  _ he typed into their text thread, followed by the pasta emoji. He received a “sounds great!” and a thumbs up in return and felt a smile return to his face. At least with TK coming for dinner, he was guaranteed to have at least one good part of this day. 

He returned to the task at hand, pulling the beginnings of the dough out of the bowl and placing it on the counter where he started kneading it. He still couldn’t believe everything that had transpired today. When he had left this morning the possibility of running into a suspected bank robber strapped to a bomb and getting suspended had never even crossed his mind. Nor had getting the confirmation that his dad didn't believe in him, but here he was. 

He hit the dough a little harder, the look of grim acceptance in his father’s eyes flashing through his mind once again. He loved his father and he knew that his father loved him; that had never been a question. But there was a difference between loving someone and believing in them, and that was the gray area he and his father existed in. He had always known, deep down. He knew that his father thought he felt things too strongly, that he was too emotional to do the job. That he was a naive bleeding heart waiting for the next lost cause to come around the corner. The worst part was that in so many ways, he was right. Carlos did care too much, he did always strive to see the best in people. He had never seen that as a weakness. Clearly, his father felt otherwise. 

He finished kneading with a sigh, wrapping the dough up in plastic wrap and setting it to rest on the counter as he turned to the cutting board full of vegetables and herbs waiting to be chopped for the sauce. He picked up the knife and started in on the garlic, letting his mind wander once again. His father hadn’t been the only one to show outright disappointment in him today, but that had been less surprising. That didn't change the fact that it had stung. These were people he worked beside on a daily basis, some for years. They were the people he was supposed to trust with his life. 

Generally, he did. He didn’t think that they were bad people or that they would ever not have his back in the field. He had always known that in many cases, they saw the world around them in different ways, but he had never expected it to become a problem quite in the way it has. He couldn’t pretend that the look of disappointment from his Captain — someone he had admired for years — hadn’t stung. 

He was snapped back to the task at hand when his knife slipped and a curse was torn from his lips by the sharp pain of a cut across his thumb. He pulled his hand away quickly, placing his other hand under it to prevent the blood from dripping onto the food as he crossed to the sink. He ran it under water and examined it. It was long and crossed the knuckle which would make it hurt like hell, but it didn’t look too deep, thankfully. He would wrap it for now and TK could look at it when he got home. Which wasn’t strictly necessary, but he knew his boyfriend would insist. Becoming a paramedic had only increased that particular inclination. Not that Carlos could say he particularly minded; it made TK feel better and Carlos was never one to deny his boyfriend anything that would put his mind at ease. 

He made quick work of bandaging his hand before putting on some music and returning to the task at hand. He tossed the vegetables in the pan to simmer and begin to form a sauce while he turned his attention to the dough. He tried not to dwell on the disaster that today had been as he rolled it out. Instead, he tried to let himself get lost in the process, threading the dough through the press carefully and laying the fresh pasta on a paper towel next to the stove. He checked on the sauce next to find that it had come together nicely and lowered the burner to keep it warm while he waited. He busied himself setting the table, throwing himself into putting together a far more elaborate table than was necessary for a Monday night in the interest of giving himself something to do that would silence all the doubts and questions in his head. 

At one point he glanced at the clock on the stove and frowned. TK should have been here by now. He grabbed his phone and sent out a quick text before returning to his project. It wasn’t until he had done every single thing he could think of without hearing the familiar sound of keys in the door that he started to worry. He grabbed his phone again, leaning against the counter as he tapped the name at the top of his recent calls. It rang for what seemed like an eternity before TK’s voicemail answered. 

“Hey,” he said into the phone, “I was just wondering if you were on your way here. You’re running later than usual so I figured I’d check, but I guess you’re still on a call or something. Just give me a call when you get this, I guess?” 

He hung up the phone after that, settling at the counter with a glass of wine as he waited. He managed about 20 minutes before he tried calling again only to get his voicemail, again. It had been almost an hour and he was officially worried. He said as much in a text, anxiously staring at his phone hoping for those three dots to appear. They didn’t and Carlos finally caved, getting up from the counter and crossing over to the table where he blew out the candles before turning off the stove and grabbing his coat. 

The last thing his mind needed tonight was something else to worry about, but this was a fear that hit differently. This was one that no amount of pasta making could soothe away. So he grabbed his keys and stepped out into the night, heading off to find answers and hopefully his errant boyfriend. 

* * *

Just like that all the anxiety and fear he had felt since the call with the unwilling bank robber seemed so trivial, all it took was a few words from Grace and the sight of some bloody rags in a van. TK was in danger: real, horrifying, life or death danger, and not one of the things that had been weighing on him all day was enough to top that. All day he had felt weighed down with worry, had been dealing with his anxiety eating away at him. But this fear, this tangible threat to the person he loved more than anyone else engulfed him; constantly pressing on him from all sides. There was no escaping this one. No amount of cooking or wine would make this go away. The only thing that could make him feel better, that would let him breathe easier again would be finding TK safe and unharmed. 

Carlos could tell that Owen was having a similar dilemma beside him as they drove to the parking garage in tense silence. He wasn’t sure what had been worse: his own hesitant worry and the nagging feeling that something was wrong being confirmed, Owen’s typically ironclad composure slowly cracking before his eyes, or Gwyn’s outright fear. For some reason, he thought it was Gwyn.

He had gotten to know her well since her arrival in Austin: first as TK healed and she tended to him and then later as he spent time around the Strand house. He had come to know her as someone unflappable. He had seen her excuse herself in the middle of lunch to ream out the head of a major corporation over the phone about a stupid decision he had made that could put him in danger of breaching a contract and turn back to their previous conversation without missing a step. He had never imagined he would see her even close to losing her composure, ever. But he had almost seen it in the entryway to the house, her fear for her son and the guilt that she might have had a part in it pushing her towards the edge. She had seemed calmer when they left, closer to the steady woman Carlos had come to know, but she didn’t know what was really happening. If she did, he doubted she would be so calm.

TK needed to be okay, Carlos decided as he glanced back at Owen who was clutching the steering wheel far more tightly than necessary. His safety and well-being was far too important to too many people — Carlos included. Losing his job and disappointing his father was one thing, losing TK was entirely another, and it was something Carlos never wanted to face. Especially not like this. 

He anxiously ran his bandaged thumb over TK’s sobriety chip as they drove. He wondered how scared TK must have been to willingly part with it. It was a representation of everything he had worked for, it was something he was so proud of. For him to leave it as a breadcrumb, with no possible guarantee it would ever be found or that he would ever see it again, he must have been terrified and that thought more than anything else filled Carlos with dread. He wanted to say he was sure about this, but the reality was that he wasn't sure at all. It was merely a desperate hope, but if there was even a chance he could find TK he was going to take it.

The truck carried them closer and closer to their destination in complete silence as the two men sat engrossed in their own thoughts, but Carlos was pretty sure he knew what they both were thinking: TK needed to be okay. No other option was acceptable. 

* * *

TK had been whisked off for an exam and scans the moment the ambulance arrived, leaving Carlos in the waiting room. He had barely taken a seat before his phone had started ringing and it was at that moment that he realized the rest of the 126 crew had no idea that anything had even been wrong. Anxious calls from both Marjan and Paul later told him that the rest of the crew had no idea what had happened, until they saw it on the news. They had gotten the gist from the news report and had seen footage of TK being loaded into an ambulance and they were concerned, to say the least. 

Once Carlos had been allowed back to see him he snapped a photo of a miserable, bandaged TK trying for a smile as proof of life and put it in the group chat with a promise that once he was discharged and feeling a little more steady, they could come over and harass him for managing to find so much trouble. He read their responses to TK as they waited for the doctor to come by with the results of his scans, running a soothing hand up and down his arm the entire time. 

That’s how TK’s parents find them, arriving at the hospital after Owen went back to pick Gwyn up and actually explain to her what happened. Carlos is sure it had been a fun conversation, judging by the tense looks on both their faces when they entered the room, but any tension on Gwyn’s face melted the moment she saw her son.

“Oh, honey,” she said softly, eyes filling with tears as she crossed to the side of the bed. Carlos moved from his spot by TK without a word and slipped into the chair at the side of the room, giving TK’s parents some room to be with him. There were quiet words and whispered affections between mother and son as Owen hovered at the foot of the bed, watching them fondly. Eventually the dynamic shifted to something closer to their usual when Gwyn pulled a container out of her purse. 

“Really Mom?” TK asked with a dubious look, “where did you even get that?” 

“We stopped on the way,” Owen explained, “she insisted.” He must have caught Carlos’s puzzled look because he explained, “Matzo ball soup.” 

Carlos grinned even as TK tried to roll his eyes, but broke off with a hiss of pain. All eyes turned to him anxiously but he gave them a small smile, “I’m fine, I just tried to move my head too much.” 

“And I still fail to see how your soup is going to help heal that,” Owen quipped to Gwyn, who glared at him. The pair started into their usual banter as TK did his best to follow along while obediently eating the soup his mother had handed to him. Carlos watched the whole scene with a fond smile, even as he kept a watchful eye on TK. His boyfriend caught his eye at one point and gave him a soft smile before being pulled back into his parents’ conversation. Eventually, Owen and Gwyn left and it was just TK and Carlos again. 

“Why are you still over there?” TK asked him before the door had even fully closed behind his parents. “Don’t make me come to you.” 

Carlos chuckled and crossed the room, sliding back into his spot on the bed, and leaned down to press a soft kiss at the edge of the bandages, “Wouldn’t dream of it.” 

He leaned back then to study him more closely. His face was drawn and pale and there was no denying that he was in pain but considering everything, he looked okay. “How do you feel?” he asked him, resting a hand on his arm, “really?” 

“I am in a lot of pain, but I’m fine, really. It could have been much worse, considering everything.”

Carlos swallowed and the hand resting on TK’s arm squeezed tighter, “yeah, it could have been.” 

It was the thought that had kept him company in the waiting room as he had fielded calls from their friends and as he had sat off to the side as TK’s parents had had their time with him. It could have been so much worse, it nearly had been. From what he had heard at the scene and put together since there were a thousand ways it could have gone wrong and a hundred that could have taken TK away from him. He had known he loved the other man for months now, he had long since realized what an integral part of his life he had become. But never in any of that time had he come quite as close to the possibility of losing him for good as he had today and it  _ terrified  _ him. 

But TK didn’t need that on his mind so he said nothing. Instead, he asked, “Any word on how long you’ll have to be off work?” 

“No,” TK griped, “but I would imagine it would be at least a week or two.”

Carlos hummed sympathetically, “Well, if there was one good thing to come out of today it’s that I’ll at least have plenty of time to spend with you while they clear this whole suspension mess up.”

Now TK was looking at him sharply, “Suspension? What do you mean? Carlos, did you get suspended?” 

At his nod, TK’s eyes widened, “ _ How _ ? What happened?” 

“It wasn’t a big deal. Well, it isn’t anymore, I guess. Turns out those two guys that kidnapped you also kidnapped a man this morning and forced him to rob a bank with a bomb strapped to his neck for encouragement. And I let him go because he said they would kill him and I believed him.” 

“And you got suspended for that?” 

“Well I did let a man who had just robbed several thousand dollars from a bank go, TK.” 

“Still,” TK said petulantly and Carlos grinned at his unwavering defense of him.

“It’s okay,” he told him, “I think it’s going to be fine. It turns out I was right and your dad and I did help to find the bank robbers so my dad thinks…” 

“Wait, your  _ dad _ was there?” 

“The bank robberies were his case. He was the one sent to investigate me too.” 

“Carlos, baby. That’s...so much,” TK gave him a sympathetic look and shifted their hands so he was squeezing Carlos’s. “Are you okay?” 

“I am,” he told him with more certainty than he had felt about anything all day, “because you’re safe and that is all I need. Everything else is just extra.” 

TK smiled at him but didn’t look convinced, “Are you sure?” 

“It was an awful day even before I knew you were missing,” he admitted. “Earlier today I thought I had ruined everything. But almost losing the person I love most put some things in perspective, I think. We’re together and as long as that’s true, I have faith that everything will work out one way or the other.” 

TK smiled at him and they lapsed into comfortable silence before Carlos realized he still had one more bit of news to share. 

“There’s something else we’re going to have to do too, when you’re feeling up to it,” Carlos told him.

“Are you going to be mysterious and make me guess with a severe concussion or…?” TK asked pointedly after a pause, and Carlos chuckled. 

“We’re going to have to find some time to go to my parents’ house for dinner,” he informed TK. “They want to meet you properly.” 

“Your parents,” TK began, eyes wide, “did you tell your dad about us?” 

“Actually, I didn’t have to. Apparently they have known about us since they ran into us at the market. But,” he admitted, “if they didn’t know before they would have after tonight. I couldn’t take my eyes off you the whole time, even when talking to my dad. Guess I’m not exactly subtle when it comes to you. That and,” he paused, fishing around in his pocket before offering up TK’s one year chip, “I asked him if we could keep this out of evidence, as a favor for me.” 

TK took the chip reverently, turning it over slowly in his hands, “I can’t believe you actually found it,” he admitted, “I was hoping you would and I left it on the off chance, but I never actually thought…” he trailed off, raising his eyes to meet Carlos’s gaze, “you’re amazing, you know that?” 

“Not nearly as amazing as you,” he countered. “Have I told you yet today how proud I am of you?” 

TK smiled but any response was cut off by a yawn. “You need sleep,” Carlos reminded him, “we can talk about everything later.” 

He went to slide off the bed, but a hand on his wrist stopped him. He looked over at TK to see him looking at him incredulously, “Where you think you’re going, Carlos Reyes?” 

“Off your bed,” he replied, “so you can sleep?” 

“Not likely,” TK countered, “I have been kidnapped, held at gunpoint and pistol whipped today. I deserve to share a bed with my boyfriend at the very least.” 

“But,” Carlos spluttered, “you’re hurt, and the bed’s not really big and…” 

“All I’m hearing are excuses Carlos and excuses will not be tolerated. Get in here.” 

Carlos sighed but obeyed, kicking off his shoes and he carefully slid into the space TK had left open for him, “The nurses are going to be in to check on you throughout the night,” he reminded him, “we’re going to get in trouble.” 

“No we won’t,” TK assured him, “we’re too adorable.” 

“You are such a brat,” Carlos noted with a chuckle, placing a kiss on the top of his head as he got settled beside him. 

“And you love it.” 

“I do,” Carlos assured him softly, “and I will always come for you.” 

“I know you will,” TK responded even as his breathing evened and his eyes started to close, “and I never doubted it for a second.”   
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](https://marjansmarwani.tumblr.com/)


End file.
